


Dead Too Rights 2137

by Will_Keaton



Category: Dead to Rights
Genre: Bad Fic, Deliberate Badfic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 13:02:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11380725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Will_Keaton/pseuds/Will_Keaton
Summary: Jack and Shadow must uncover the mystery of his father's death.





	Dead Too Rights 2137

Jack Slate was the best police cop in Future Grant City. Not only was he an old fashioned police cop but he was also a cyborg with metal pants inside. His partner was named Shadow who were a robot dog made from jean spicing.

Now Shadow and Jack was on imported assigning. They had to stop one of Future Grant City's most deadliest criminals, a jaywalker.

Shadow drived the police cop car util they finded him. When he seed the jaywalker Jack jumped out of car and screamed “You have the right to remain silent!” Then he shooted jaywalker in the face with cyber revolver.

Jack Slate driving back into his police station when he got a call on the PCB radio. “All police cops have to be at nano-construction sight imitately! We have a person down and bulleted!” Sahdow pushed pedal to medal and got too nano-construction sight super fast. They took short cut throw strip club but only ran over five people so it was okay.

When Jack had gotten at nano-construction site he saw Da Chef standing over body that was bulleted. When he became closer Jack cold see bulleted person was his father!

Jack knew what he had too doo. His father were bulleted and theChef was the bulletterer. “You shouldn't play with matches,” Jack said then he break off Chef's arm and throw him out window.

Jack and Shadow started to man-cry over fatherly corpse. Before much tearing was spilt they were attacked by meta-clowns. Jack and shadow fighted the meta-clowns but they were two meta for them and they were given their bums on a plate with some cheese. Then they disappeared buy vanishing.

What happened next was the rest of the police cops showed up and they arrested Jack and Shadow for murder of Da Chef. Jack was thrown through a prison and Shadow was put in dog jail.

Using lightspeed phone technology Jack was a phonecall to his girlfred. "No. I can't give you cake with escape frosting, I have to stripper minigame." Then she was made of hang up.

While being inside of the prison Jack talked too prisoners. He leraned that his fathers reel killer was not the Chef, but some another guy! He had been framed! This made Jack was very maddened. He had too escarp form the prison.

The next day the warden came and put Jack in chair with an electric. “You are an murdering and need to be killed!” Jack hated this warden who was an Nazi and the way he heil Hitler'd instead of shaking hans. He was preventing Jack from upholding law! He needed to bee stooped. When Warden pulled button to turn on electricyness, the lights went out. When they came back on the warden was in the electric seat and was getting fired. Little did anybody know that jack had eaten a gallon of battery acid so he could escape.

“Take up your grievances with city hall!” Jack shouted as he jumped through solid brick wall. Jack ran to the next door and broke Shadow out of dog jail. “We have too many questions and not enough bullets!” he said to partner.

Jack had to find his father's murderer. He also had too find whoever framed him for the murder of Da Chef. Plus he had to get pizza.

The pizza person gave him a pizza, but no info on the conspiracy. Jack wasn't happy. “Remember when I said I'd kill you last?” Jack asked the Pizza person. “I lied!” Then Jack rolled Pizza person flat with rolling pin, covered him with cheese and sauce and some mushrooms, and then threw him in oven.

When Jack came out side Shadow said he had a lead. The two police cops drove down to the space docks. As soon as they get out of bionic car it exploded flying them across pierre.

Jack got back ontop of his feet. And was shocked when he seen who had attacked them. It was Longshoreman X!

“So, we meat again Jack Slate.” Says Longshoreman X. “I came all the way back from being dead to kill you because you killed me!”

Jack Slate was so angry he couldn't move. All he could do was say, “Valet parking my ass!”

Longshoreman X punched Jack so hard it was Sunday before he landed. As he tried to get up Shadow attacked Longshoreman X and started the biting. Longshoreman X was immune to biting and bullets, but it did detract him. Jack took advantage of chance and made justice by picking up forklift. “I'm fresh out of plutonium.” Jack screamed as he threw his load. The forklift impaled Longshoreman X into the ocean. Jack jumped in after and beet up Longshoreman X until he got answers.

“You're father was kill by meta-clowns.” Said Longshoreman X. “They work for Mayor.” Then he died.

Jack walked all to city hall. Some people were in his way so he shooted them. “He fell like silk-suited brick, and probably floated about as well too.” Finally he borscht into city hall and fighting his way too mayor, breaking everyone who tried to stop him. Once he found the Mayor Jack said, “Houston we have a problem.” Then he punched the mayor in the face. Unfortruantly Jack had forgotten the mayor was also the heavy-weight boxing champion of the world.

Jack and the Mayor did fighting back and forth for many days. "You idioot. You will never figure out my plan to steal all the gold from out under Future Grant City." Mayor made say. Just when Jack was about to be the give up Shadow jumped in and put Mayor into paper shredder. “You wanted to be judge jury and executioner. Something smells fishy, and it isn't the sushi bar!” Then Jack ripped off Mayor's head and drop kicked it into New Oklahoma.

Jack was happy for the first time since his father had become bulleted butt his happyness can't last long. Soon the building was flooding with meta-clowns. Meta-clowns wearing power flesh that made them super strong and super fasterly. “I doubt fort knox is having a yard sale!” Jack fighted a bunch of the clowns, then ripped off a mask. That's when Jack mowed the truth! The meta-clowns were secretly GAC people, or Groovy Anti-Crime people. BUt it was a lie. They was the most ungrooviest people on the face of Neo-Earth! In actual they were a group of super police cops, but now who they working for?!

RUnning and gunnig form GACs Jack leaped out of window on City Hall and landed on CIty Hall airport. A 747 airplane flew byy and shoot at Jack, so Jack made steal of motorcycle and drove alongside airplane. Then Jack jumped off motorcycle and shoot it with his shooting guns. The blow up of the motorcycle made JAck's buttgas ignite and he bacame the master of flight, so he smashed through Plane's cokc pit. Inside plane Jack was attacked by foreign man from countyr of foreign. He attacked Jack by breathing fire.

"You fool! I have secret piece of paper that proves Mayor is made of evil cheese. Now I can use it to take over world!" Foreign man attacked Jack but Jack told Shadow to stand behind foreign person and Jack pushed foreign person sho he fell over Sahdow and also fly out the back of airplane.

Bad news, Jack did not know how too fly airplane, but good news plane crashed into mattress factory so Jack was made of okay. Jack readed foreign guy's file on Mayor and learned the Mayor had secret partner in his evil scheme who was secretly masterminding everyone else! Jack did not know who mystery man was, but the file did the say that they lived in penthouse on Neo Bay Bell Hotel in downtown.

Now made of more angry than last time Jack leaped outside of matress building while Shadow eat human scrotums. “I'm Jack Slate bitch!” Jack Slate screamed as he shooted the everyperson with bullets. Jack and Shadow continued to shoot all the people they met on they're way to the Neo Bay Bell Hotel.ALso the hotel was on fire because it was tuesday.

Shadow opened the elevator door and Jack gotted inside, but there was five heaily armed men also inside.”You forgot the apples!” Jack said as he used his fists and his feet to punch and kick them to dead.

Finally the evilator stopped and Jack got out, finally ready to puting an end to all this madness. He broke down door to room and walked to see the mastermind of the entire eval scheme, his girlfriend!

“These guys are worse than mimes!” Jack accused. “I had to have to do to it!” Jack's girlfriend answering. “Your father was found out about the Mayor's plan to steal gold from under Future Grant City. But now our plan is successing and We have 25 dollars in solid gold!”

Jack had finally had enough. “It's guys like you who give unions a bad name!” Then Jack ripped up hotel mattress and shoved it down Jack's girlfriend's throat.

It was a day later. Jack and Shadow were at Jack's father's grave. It was time for Jack to goodbye his dad. “See you in hell.” Then Jack and Shadow pretended to be dead so no one would ever look for them.


End file.
